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THE TOP FIFTEEN LIES WOMEN TELL MEN ABOUT SEX!
Ok, I confess: women do lie on occasion but I promise it is totally to protect the feelings of men who claim that they are big, strong and fearless but faint at the sight of blood, turn green when they see a needle and become big annoying babies when they get sick.
Another scenario in which we ‘bend the truth’ a bit is when it comes to the bedroom …or really any available (hopefully) clean surface in the house. When it comes to sex, we some-times tweak the truth a bit because lets face it, like Jack Nicholson said in the movie: you can’t handle the truth!
The following are a compilation of top fifteen lies we spin to make you feel better about the ‘horizontal hockey’ at times. They are listed in no particular order and guys, don’t be blaming me, I am simply the messenger!
“I have never done this before”
If you haven’t heard this a couple of times, then you are probably lacking in experience. It is common to hear a lady say “I’ve never done this” when you bring her home from an outing.
Ladies try to appear innocent so as not to lose an opportunity of being in a relationship with you, they try to create a positive perception, hoping you get to fall for it and a lot of men actually do fall for it.
Last time she had sex
Most girls tend to say the last time they had sex was 6 to 8 months back. Unfortunately, even though it seems to sound right to them. The fact that women know guys don’t want to date or marry someone who is promiscuous makes them pretend to be innocent in the hope that it will give them a positive perception.
A lot of girls lie about their body count or how many guys they have been with. This can be adduced to the fact that they want to be seen as innocent. They know if they tell the truth, most guys would just want to have a taste and leave.
It was awesome. Actually it wasn’t but we are not gonna ever say that out loud…ever!
My ‘cousin from red hills is visiting’. Yep, our periods get blamed for everything even when it’s not present. Guys , you ever stop to think that we just may not be interested or in the mood?
It’s so big!Hehehe. Is it really or do we just say that to inflate your ego hoping it inflate somewhere else as well.
I have a headache. Well sometimes we do because we have to put up with all your crap daily.
You’re the best I ever had.Pinocchio ain’t got nothing on some of us women as we lie like a rug! That’s such a bold faced lie at times that I can’t believe men fall for that.
This perhaps is the most common lie told by women and this because they feel men are mostly attracted to younger women and would perceive older women as controlling.
It’s a natural biological instinct for women to know when men are most attracted to them and once they are above the age when men swoon over them, they naturally try to remain attractive and lie about their real age.
This is another common truth bender. A very obvious one is claiming to have a boyfriend when a guy they don’t like is making a move on them. However, the opposite of this is more common as women will pointedly tell a guy they like that they are single when it is actually the opposite. If they fail to tell you they are single when they like you, they might just feign ignorance and avoid talking about the man in their life which happens to be as good as lying about it.
Some ladies try to juggle two relationships at a time, just as others would dump the old guy for the new one. Other ones basically want to cheat on their boyfriends of many years for the thrill and excitement the new guy they barely know brings.
“We are just friends; he’s not interested in me.”
This one drives everybody who can see what is going on nuts. The reason why women do this can be cited as craving validation, interest in a future relationship or pure boredom. Women keep some guys around as a backup plan. They continue to chat, flirt and throw out subtle hints in case their ongoing relationship fails to work or they need shoulders to cry on when they have problems in their relationships.
More so, women will keep some other guys whom they previously had an interest around so that they may ignite a spark. And as a guy, always bear in mind that women will leave you behind the moment they find someone that’s more valuable than you are.
“I don’t flirt with other guys”
Women often tell this lie given how ambiguous the definition of flirting is. I see flirting as talking and acting in a way that could lead a normal man to believe that you are sexually interested in him. Women are very good at reading body language and can easily deduce if they are flirting or someone is flirting with them.
They also do know when a guy wants much more from them. Most women flirt just to kill boredom and have backup plans in case their present relationship fails to work.
I’m coming!Now don’t lie, hands up all the women who have ever faked the big ‘O’. Come on, be honest. When he seems to take forever and you have to get up to go to work in the morning or you just want it to be over for whatever reason.
It’s ok that you came quickly.No it ain’t and if you actually believe that you dumber than dog poop! It is never ok but we just not interested in waiting for a round two so we tell you what you wanna hear.
I’m tired.Well at times this is true but sometimes we just don’t wanna deal with your lump on top of us sweating away. Yall think you’re cute but at that particular time you actually aren’t. You are weird looking; your facial expressions are comical and your grunts and utter-ances are priceless but no in a MasterCard kinda way! DWL. I sincerely hope all of this didn’t hurt too much.